If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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