If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm too high and old for this...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
