seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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