You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
