Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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