I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
