She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
