The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
