they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
