would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
