the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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