I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
