i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
