it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
