I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
