Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
