Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
