Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize