Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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