Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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