Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Small penises have feelings too.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
This is my gift to your gina
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
