it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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