we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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