im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
