it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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