I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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