why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
