if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
