I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
