Plan B is the new Plan A
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
