Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
