no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Barsexuality is the new black.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
