i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
