White coat. Heels.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
