Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
