Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
