how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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