i may or may not be watching the land before time
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
