The maid of honor just puked.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
50% drunk capacity currently
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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