Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
