Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
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