my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
