I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize