hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
