how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
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