I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
