tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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