So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
