I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
