dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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