CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
