at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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