why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
