This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
