i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
