Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Life is so much better after having sex.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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