if only i could text you this smell
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
