your room smells of hookers.
And success
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
