If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
